How to avoid conflicts

How to avoid conflicts

How much can you swear and conflict with each other? Life is given only once and there's no point in spending it on a bad mood!

I do not know if there are people among your acquaintances who adore scandals?

And among my - there is, or rather - was, until I changed my place of work.

This black-eyed young lady was happy, as if she had received a gift for a birthday party, when she had the opportunity to quarrel with someone. She turned into a real "beauty": her eyes glittered, her nostrils flared, her left hoof began to rake the ground.

Well, it's just that you're a fighting bull before a bullfighter.

Quarrel with this was more expensive.

She still did not listen to anyone but herself, and any attempts to argue her position were scored with a wild orator and obscene vocabulary.

The only way to deal with such a monster is to retire in time.

But since it was not so easy to do it - the young lady refused to release the victim from claws so easily - she had to study the literature "How to avoid conflicts?" And share the read advice with other colleagues.

If among your acquaintances there are felids of hell that were sent to earth to provoke conflicts, then you got to "holy water" from them.

What is conflict and how to avoid it?

There are several interpretations of this word.

The most common is one of the unpleasant ways to resolve contradictions.

Psychologists are inclined to think that this is the contradiction (that is, the lack of harmony) that arises between individuals, whole groups and even - nations.

In short, this is an extremely negative phenomenon, therefore, every normal person should know how to avoid conflict, so as not to spread further aggression.

Very often we find ourselves in unpleasant situations precisely because we do not have time to react in time, we do not recognize the conflict at an early stage and we understand that we "got hit" when it is too late to remove fishing rods.

Learning to control yourself - useful tips

Therefore, in order to escape from the battlefield even before it starts, be able to recognize the signs of a conflict that is starting.

Let's list them:

  1. It seems to you that the one with whom you are speaking now has not yet said a single clever word.
  2. The blood literally begins to boil in your veins for every opponent's remark.
  3. You begin to get annoyed not only by a nearby idiot who carries a complete nonsense, but everything around.
  4. A glass of wine, a pile of cognac or a cigarette you would not be disturbed right now.
  5. The palpitations become more frequent, you start more intensively and breathe more often.
  6. You look for what you can throw into this annoying creature.
  7. It turns out that you know a lot of obscene words that would gladly teach you a bothersome companion.
  8. Oh, and why is murder now a criminal offense?

Is it always worth avoiding conflicts?

In my opinion - not always.

Sometimes you can not do without conflict to solve this or that problem.

But I'm in favor of the fact that "sick" need to be in an easy form.

No hysterics, beating utensils, inhuman ora, fistfights and other self-mutilation.

Even to find out the relationship must be intelligent.

So, it's worth it if:

  1. It is necessary to find out what is painful with a loved one. Often this is enjoyed by couples. Naturally, the ideal option is to sit down and talk like adults, but often a small conflict can defuse the situation.
  2. You want to break off relations with some annoying acquaintance. My girlfriend and her husband could not get rid of one sticky couple, who certainly wanted to be friends with them.
  3. Even frankness: "We do not want to talk to you!" Did not extinguish them. It was necessary to the girlfriend with the spouse to come on bothers on their liked, yes on a callos and to quarrel. This is an important issue for you and to retire is to betray your ideals, to become a coward. For example, you need to put in place a nagger who insults your girlfriend, mother, to save the sadist from an animal, etc.

"As soon as you learn to mirror the conflict situation in a mirror - not plunging into it to the ears, but contemplating it from the side - then believe me, it will certainly be solved with minimal losses for you! You just have to put yourself in the place of another person and imagine: what would you have done or wanted to do in this case? "

But again, think about how you can avoid conflicts before you get involved in them.

Perhaps you yourself have inflated the problem yourself and there is still time to calm down and correct the situation.

How to avoid unnecessary conflict?

Our mothers also taught us that the simplest method of avoiding a scandal or a fight is to turn around and get away from someone who is trying to provoke you to unreasonable actions.

The council, in general, is correct, and it occurs in a variety of profile articles.

If you simply do not turn around and leave the battlefield for various reasons (you do not want to offend a loved one, the opponent is too angry and does not allow you to leave, you are in an enclosed space, crowded with public transport, etc.), then I suggest Such an algorithm of action:

How to forgive treachery - an example from life

  1. Calm yourself. Take a couple of deep breaths to normalize your breathing, tame your anger and irritation.
  2. Try to calm down the conflicting side. This can be done if:
    • Speak in a calm tone;
    • Not show signs of aggression;
    • Apologize;
    • Ignore the boor;
    • Joke to defuse the situation;
    • Say something like: "Let's talk tomorrow, when both calm down," "I respect your opinion, but I have my own, so I suggest we just finish the conversation," "We do not want to find out our relationship with the audience?", Etc.

In general, choose the option according to the situation in which you are and depending on the personality of your opponent.

Errors that will not allow you to avoid conflict

Sometimes people are surprised: "I was not going to quarrel with him at all, I do not know how it happened".

And it turned out all this because you, instead of concentrating on the idea of ​​how to avoid conflict, by their actions or words unconsciously threw the drow in the fire.

Conflict to be if you:

Do you know who is the least likely to get into conflict situations? People who:

Avoid conflicts!

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